It was so predictable, like clockwork, that we should have seen it coming. All the signs were there. Wolf News would run a story and the President, being an ardent fan and watcher, would see the story and act on it. It seemed that Wolf News was quite literally writing government policy from their newsroom. And with anchor men and women, television personalities, that were really Stepford reporters, parroting what ever they were ordered to say, we should have known what was coming next.
One ordinary morning, Wolf News ran a story about how this moment in time was the only time that we could attack North Korea and stop their nuclear program. The President had just hired as our National Security Advisor B. R. Oomstacheface who was part of a group called "The New American Century Of Mendacity" that had gotten us into the Iraq war after 911, which was an attack by Saudi nationals on the United Stated that resulted in thousand dying in the Twin Towers and millions dying in Iraq. Oomstacheface went on Wolf News and made the announcement that essentially, today was the day to attack North Korea in a pre-emptive strike. The President, watching in the morning as always, sprang into action. He called for his wife, Melanoma, who was Russbakistani and his favorite daughter Ivodka, kissed them both for a long, creepy time, then he called for the nuclear football. Ordinarily there would have been someone, a general or adviser, who could talk the President down from his madness but in the previous months, the President had purged his staff of anybody who had a moderate, rational voice and replaced them all with sycophants and yes men and yes women, who would only cheer him on and never contradict him, even with the fate of the world hanging in the balance. The President opened the nuclear football briefcase and entered the launch codes for North Korea. B.R.Oomstacheface was right next to him, almost guiding his hand over the scanner and then punching in the launch codes into the computer. The President looked at B.R. Oomstacheface and suddenly realized why he had like the man so much. As the President stared at Oomstacheface, the face slowly morphed into the mustached face of his disapproving father. As the President pressed the button to launch the missiles, he uttered something that made Oomstacheface freeze in confusion and horror. The President mumbled, "I'll show you daddy, I'm a good boy..." and the beginning of the end was underway.
One ordinary morning, Wolf News ran a story about how this moment in time was the only time that we could attack North Korea and stop their nuclear program. The President had just hired as our National Security Advisor B. R. Oomstacheface who was part of a group called "The New American Century Of Mendacity" that had gotten us into the Iraq war after 911, which was an attack by Saudi nationals on the United Stated that resulted in thousand dying in the Twin Towers and millions dying in Iraq. Oomstacheface went on Wolf News and made the announcement that essentially, today was the day to attack North Korea in a pre-emptive strike. The President, watching in the morning as always, sprang into action. He called for his wife, Melanoma, who was Russbakistani and his favorite daughter Ivodka, kissed them both for a long, creepy time, then he called for the nuclear football. Ordinarily there would have been someone, a general or adviser, who could talk the President down from his madness but in the previous months, the President had purged his staff of anybody who had a moderate, rational voice and replaced them all with sycophants and yes men and yes women, who would only cheer him on and never contradict him, even with the fate of the world hanging in the balance. The President opened the nuclear football briefcase and entered the launch codes for North Korea. B.R.Oomstacheface was right next to him, almost guiding his hand over the scanner and then punching in the launch codes into the computer. The President looked at B.R. Oomstacheface and suddenly realized why he had like the man so much. As the President stared at Oomstacheface, the face slowly morphed into the mustached face of his disapproving father. As the President pressed the button to launch the missiles, he uttered something that made Oomstacheface freeze in confusion and horror. The President mumbled, "I'll show you daddy, I'm a good boy..." and the beginning of the end was underway.
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